• the studieaux

Online Streaming Saved Me

It’s 4am, and I am the only one home. My partner at the time was a 15 hr flight away, and my family in NC. A pain greater than I’d ever felt shot through my left lower abdomen. Screaming in pain, throwing up from pain, I called in a radius all those I knew in a 2 mile radius to take me to the hospital. In the lobby of my downtown high rise, I clung to the trash can as I dry heaved. Scared and afraid, the first kidney stone of my life shocked me into a place of personal healing.

Age 26 with a kidney stone, I sought out medicine with a ferocity.

I grew up an athlete. I was on a sports team at least 2 out of the 3 seasons in the academic year. Every summer, I played organized sports; I went to camps; I travelled to tournaments pursuing collegiate lacrosse; I was as active of a kid as could be. Then I went to college where I played Division 1 lacrosse -- at times arguably a partying sport with a lacrosse problem. I felt as if I was healthy, though I look back and my nutrition was atrocious as college students generally are. Nutrition aside, movement-wise I was playing a spiritual sport that kept me in shape and endorphins firing.


Fast forward to 2 years out of graduate school -- my level of activity was very much related to my work directing club lacrosse programming, overseeing all operations and coaching 6 days a week (sometimes 7). Though active and in the sunshine, much more active than the average human, the stressors of the Florida heat took a toll on my body. I fooled myself into thinking that coaching & being “active” would be enough. I wasn’t firing my muscles with intention, and a daily yoga practice had only been a bucket list item. Going to a gym took too much time and bored me. I lacked the self motivation to not only accomplish a workout, but plan the whole thing prior. I would spend so much time planning that by the time I got to the workout it was a three hour ordeal.


Enter in a kidney stone into my mid-twenties narrative, and I snapped out of complacency with my health. I took charge of my movement schedule in a way that I had never been able to do. I sought refuge within my combination community of lacrosse and Beachbody. I would fall off of memberships at yoga studios, at gyms. I would beat myself up more often than I would work out. And I found my movement medicine in the comfort of my living room, in the beauty of nature. I found my tribe within the community also dedicated to learning from that same platform. I found a profoundly impactful relationship with myself by committing to pressing “play” each day for less than $20/mo.


If I was to accomplish ONE thing each day, without fail -- it was pressing play on SOMETHING. Having one online platform with & a community down for cardio, yoga (specific for low back pain when I dropped out of hammock), meditations, and strength programs gave me no excuses. I found an increase in my health, found a daily yoga practice in the privacy that I needed (and now I even own a yoga studio because that shi* is great).


If you’re nervous about beginning a yoga, meditation, movement medicine practice, STOP. Don’t be nerv