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Online Streaming Saved Me

It’s 4am, and I am the only one home. My partner at the time was a 15 hr flight away, and my family in NC. A pain greater than I’d ever felt shot through my left lower abdomen. Screaming in pain, throwing up from pain, I called in a radius all those I knew in a 2 mile radius to take me to the hospital. In the lobby of my downtown high rise, I clung to the trash can as I dry heaved. Scared and afraid, the first kidney stone of my life shocked me into a place of personal healing.

Age 26 with a kidney stone, I sought out medicine with a ferocity.

I grew up an athlete. I was on a sports team at least 2 out of the 3 seasons in the academic year. Every summer, I played organized sports; I went to camps; I travelled to tournaments pursuing collegiate lacrosse; I was as active of a kid as could be. Then I went to college where I played Division 1 lacrosse -- at times arguably a partying sport with a lacrosse problem. I felt as if I was healthy, though I look back and my nutrition was atrocious as college students generally are. Nutrition aside, movement-wise I was playing a spiritual sport that kept me in shape and endorphins firing.


Fast forward to 2 years out of graduate school -- my level of activity was very much related to my work directing club lacrosse programming, overseeing all operations and coaching 6 days a week (sometimes 7). Though active and in the sunshine, much more active than the average human, the stressors of the Florida heat took a toll on my body. I fooled myself into thinking that coaching & being “active” would be enough. I wasn’t firing my muscles with intention, and a daily yoga practice had only been a bucket list item. Going to a gym took too much time and bored me. I lacked the self motivation to not only accomplish a workout, but plan the whole thing prior. I would spend so much time planning that by the time I got to the workout it was a three hour ordeal.


Enter in a kidney stone into my mid-twenties narrative, and I snapped out of complacency with my health. I took charge of my movement schedule in a way that I had never been able to do. I sought refuge within my combination community of lacrosse and Beachbody. I would fall off of memberships at yoga studios, at gyms. I would beat myself up more often than I would work out. And I found my movement medicine in the comfort of my living room, in the beauty of nature. I found my tribe within the community also dedicated to learning from that same platform. I found a profoundly impactful relationship with myself by committing to pressing “play” each day for less than $20/mo.


If I was to accomplish ONE thing each day, without fail -- it was pressing play on SOMETHING. Having one online platform with & a community down for cardio, yoga (specific for low back pain when I dropped out of hammock), meditations, and strength programs gave me no excuses. I found an increase in my health, found a daily yoga practice in the privacy that I needed (and now I even own a yoga studio because that shi* is great).


If you’re nervous about beginning a yoga, meditation, movement medicine practice, STOP. Don’t be nervous about beginning, be nervous about failing to start. The compound effect of poor movement habits exists whether you decide to attend to your own or not. It isn’t until you get a trip to the ER that you maybe snap into doing better. It’s not the whole thing you  have to worry about, it’s being brave enough to start before your body forces you to. I am so grateful for our world wide web for making so many vital skillsets available to me; and I’m honored to be a part of Studieaux Life Online Streaming. Full circle of gratitude.


Love & Light, Tay

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